Boer, Bore, Boar, Boor, Bored, Board, Bawd, Baud

Of all the sins a writer or speaker can commit, which is the worst?  Is it resolutely steering well clear of the subject indicated by the title or headline?  Is it being patronising, insulting, embarrassing, obscene, racist, or in some other way not politically correct? Is it communicating entirely in jargon, which might just as well be an obscure central Gondwanaland dialect for all you can understand?

Whilst I dislike to a greater or lesser degree being on the receiving end of any of these, I believe the biggest sin is that of being downright BORING!

Some research in the UK a few years ago showed that Engineering students had a higher boredom threshold than Psychology students.  Of course that wasn't the published conclusion, seeing that the research was carried out in the Psychology department of a leading British University!  What was claimed was that Psychology students "had a more highly developed social awareness"!  A highly measurable quantity, undoubtedly!

The actual 'yardstick' used in this research was to secretly observe the students and count how many times each one yawned!  People have earned PhDs for this sort of stuff, you know!

Maybe there's room to create a new international unit, the 'Winch', as a measure of boredom, equivalent to one unprovoked yawn per minute.  I say unprovoked because we all know yawning is highly contagious.

Do let me know your thoughts.

So, given that you might well end up writing for or speaking to, people who are more psychologist than engineer, how can you avoid being BORING?

Maybe you can adopt the principles I used when writing this piece.

• Know/consider your audience/readers.  The top tip is to make sure it comes across that you, the writer/speaker, care about the subject.  Think about what the subject really means to you.  If the answer is nothing, you may want to question whether or not to write the article or give the speech.



• The second tip is to ensure that you are writing or speaking this in the certain knowledge that the audience cares about the subject.  This is a simple extension of knowing your audience but knowing extends much further than simply knowing in which section of Yellow Pages they can be found!



• Ask the audience/readers a question, read them a quote, or tell them a story - whichever it is, be pertinent.  Engaging your audience in some way helps them to feel involved, which is a good way of minimising their boredom.  If you are giving a speech, it is a good relaxation technique for you.  After all, once you have handled the random answers they may give to your question, you can steer the talk back to where you want to be, confident that you now have a 'downhill ride' to the end.  And if it's not really the occasion for audience participation, even a rhetorical question can get them thinking, and so being less bored.



• Be creative - combine different media, or mix and match long paragraphs, short paragraphs, prose, speech, and bullet points - but don't get 'typeface diarrhoea'!  Change for change's sake is distracting and thus boring, but monotony is also boring!  Literally the word means single-tone, but common usage has invested it with far more of the 'boring' than its origin would suggest.



• Use 'white space' - pause, literally or metaphorically to let your words sink in.  You need to breathe as you speak, but people also need to 'breathe' as they read and listen.  Give them time for the mental 'action replay', so they can understand and follow you more readily.



• Think of the 'big picture' - You will be aiming to get the audience or readership to 'do' something, so make sure you lead up to it.  A 'lead in' without a 'call to action' is just as bad as the unexpected surprise of a call to action without a lead in.  In neither case will any action get taken!



• Use humour if it (the situation) is appropriate and if it (the humour) is appropriate.  Humour can be a valuable aid in making a strong point but don't 'recycle' the humour.  Tell your own stories from your own experience - They're harder to steal for a start! - Write and speak from the heart, and if the real you is humorous, this will come through.  No stand-up comic would ever say, "I've got this really great joke", so why should you.



• If you're actually giving a speech, be confident - Most young children are confident public speakers but then later something goes wrong!  One way back for adults is to practise.  Confidence comes from practise, not further study.



• Above all, be yourself!

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