The Toughest Sell Is To Yourself

A great new idea

Often, when you come across a new idea or a new way of doing or explaining something, you think it sounds great.  You feel you want to adapt it and adopt it for yourself because you really think it will make a difference to you, and quite possibly to those around you too.

“You come across a new idea that sounds great.
You think it will make a difference to you.”

Imagine doing it yourself

So then you start to imagine yourself implementing your adaptations and guess what?  Suddenly it doesn't seem quite as right for you as you thought it did!  It still looks great for other people but, for some reason (that you get better and better at explaining - largely to yourself), it won't work for you!

“You start to imagine yourself doing it and guess what?  Suddenly it doesn't seem quite as right for you as you thought!”

Shattered confidence

The technical term for this is fear, and the biggest fear generally involves you!

With most new things the toughest sell is to yourself.  You worry about all the things that might feel uncomfortable, that might go wrong, and you've shattered your confidence before you've even started.  You don't doubt the value of the idea; you just doubt your own ability to implement it.  You need to build that confidence that was shattered before its very conception.

There are many reasons for lack of confidence, but many boil down to either a fear of getting hurt or a fear of looking stupid.  Even the fear of losing money is really only a combination of these two key fears - You'll be hurt and you'll look daft!

“You worry about all the things that might feel uncomfortable, that might go wrong, and you've shattered your confidence before you've even started”

Essential survival mechanism

These fears are largely the 'flight' part of the 'fight, fright or flight' that is hard-wired into our behaviour as a survival mechanism.  We probably need to be taught or to learn from experience that hot objects, ferocious beasts, fast moving heavy machinery and sharp tools can cause pain.  But once we're aware of a few specific examples, we can translate these into generalities, so then we can evaluate new potential threats when we meet them for the first time.  Essential survival mechanism as I said.

“Survival time.
Three choices.
Fight, fright or flight.”

The little voice in your head

Often however, the little voice in your head that's telling you not to do something becomes too arrogant and dogmatic, and tries to wrap you in cotton-wool with its CYA* policy, and you develop fears that are counterproductive to both your survival and your success.

To overcome this and gain confidence it is frequently a good idea to replace, rather than try to eradicate, this little voice in your head.  Try telling yourself that actually it's rather good to be doing this thing you're trying to do, that you'll feel great once you've done it, that it will be a pleasure and not a pain
to do it.

“The little voice in your head tries to wrap you in cotton-wool.
Don't eradicate it, replace it!”

Tell the face in the mirror

And here's the clue to increasing your confidence: "Tell yourself"!  Confidence comes from practise, not further study.  Look in the mirror and tell the face you see there the things you need to be able to tell other people.

If the highest price you've ever quoted is £1,000, tell the face in the mirror, "My price is £5,000."  Did you start to grin or laugh?  Getting in first with the laugh in the face of our own (perceived by us) silliness is a natural defence mechanism to mitigate the pain that comes when the other person laughs first at our misfortune.

Keep practising in front of the mirror until you can say, "My price is £5,000" with a straight face and mean it.  Then you'll have all the confidence you need to say it to customers!

“Tell the face in the mirror what you need to tell others.
Confidence comes from practise, not further study”

*CYA - A well known policy; it stands for Cover Your Arse!

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